And back down the emotional rollercoaster.....

No, AF hasn't arrived yet, I am just feeling so completely low again today which is pretty weird after my burst of confidence in my last post.

Not a lot to write really....just feeling a bit in dispair...

Sometimes I find myself wondering if I am worrying about nothing, that I will have a baby within the year and all the TTC issues will have been forgotten.

But then I wonder whether I should, indeed, be very worried. I am scared this is going to be a long term thing, and the anxiousness and desperateness I feel now is hard enough to get through already - what if it DOES get worse??

I desperately want to fall this year, I don't want a large gap between #1 and #2, yet I should be happy I can fall at all, even if it takes longer than my "preferred" time gap.

I wonder if people who have been TTC long term (1 year plus) ever thought that they would be the ones having all the trouble. Or did they stay blissfully unaware thinking that this next month would be their month? When did they start getting those little niggly thoughts "is it ever going to happen?"

It's so entirely stupid really. This is only our 5th month of trying. In all reality it could take another 7 before I can start thinking something is really wrong. I guess I am preparing myself for this, in case it does become a reality.