To the Moon and Back - My Mothering Journey

After a lovely (but busy) weekend again, I am coming back to reality and to what is "at hand" for our TTC business.

AF is nearly 2 weeks late. I tested again on Saturday and again, BFN. I was holding out all hope that perhaps my cycle was extra long this month (still talking September cycle here) and that I have been testing too early. If that is the case, I should be able to safely test now and get a result either way.

I am going to see my doctor for a blood test. I am sick of being up in the air - am I/aren't I? There's still a chance - or is there??

It's starting to really get to me. I am starting to be able to handle all the BFN, it's the complete lack of AF that is getting to me and making me want to just cry. I guess it's just proof again and again that my cycle really is stuffed up - perhaps I don't even ovulate at all??

I am scared of going to the doctors for the BT. For the simple fact is I will have to face the fact that the PCOS really could be fucking things up. I guess it's the prospect of taking the next step that frightens me. We will no longer be doing it on our own, we will have medical advice.

How stupid does that sound??

Anyway. That's where I am at.