Two Pee's in a Pod

I've just come back from town after putting a summer clothes layby on for Ella.

I bought 2 HPT while I was down there....

There staring me in the face just willing me to open them and do the deed.

I can't.

For one, I promised hubby I'd wait until he was home before I tested and two, I'm half frozen with fear of another BFN. After all that has happened this month with Ella, I don't know how I am going to handle seeing just one line.

I have all my hopes pinned on this cycle being our cycle. I don't know why but everything just feels so....can't think of the word, but I feel so confident.

My boobs are huge and are very hot. I've been nauseas and having the worst sleepless nights (I know, could be stress yada yada) and finally, there have been weird little flutterings deep in my tummy.

Hardly going to be baby movements if I am pregnant, but the fact that its unusual (and I am feeling it) is hopeful to start with.

I am so anxious I feel like jumping up and down, but the modest and realistic side of me is preventing me from doing that.

How am I going to feel if this month is another failed attempt? After pinning my hopes on being successful and leaning towards the mindset of perhaps I am pregnant?

I guess I will know in T minus 2.5hrs.....and silently counting.

Wish us luck!