Working it out.....

....and I realised that AF is due tomorrow. I hadn't realised how close it was.

In regards to any symptoms I have, nothing. No big boobs, no nausea/tiredness/hungriness. No flutterings or inklings AT ALL. About the only thing I can report is mild cramping which most likely means AF is on her way....


I've made the decision to see my doctor. I will make an appointment today even, just so I don't chicken out and avoid going again. I've been so scared of what she will say. I know that the main thing she will concentrate on is my weight - and I know she is right. I need to get it under control. I just couldn't bear the thought of being turned away, told to lose weight and come back in 6 months time for any more TTC assistance. I think I would go crazy.

I have decided that, if she doesn't want to help until I've lost some weight, that I will be going on a soup diet for a month. It sounds so freakin' extreme but that is just how desperate I am getting.

I don't care HOW I lose the weight, I don't care if I put it all back on once pregnant/bubs is born, I just want to lose it to fall pregnant...if that even works. I want to lose it to show my doctor just how serious I am about having another baby - that I will do anything it takes - including stupid fad diets. I might even buy some Xenical and give that a go too.

I know how irrational all that sounds but I am that desperate to try anything....

It's time. Naturally hasn't worked. We've given it a good go but it's just not working. Now is time for some drastic actions.