I must admit, I feel so very embarrassed when having to tell people I have been referred to a hospital in Perth to have the baby because I am too fat to have it here.
Most will often look a tad uncomfortable having asked the question in the first place, and a lot will just laugh and say "Oh don't be silly, you're not that big!"
They don't realise that it is actually true and I am not trying to have a light dig at my weight. I am too big to have my baby here. Hospitals orders.
A measly 3kgs is the difference between having my child here, amongst family and friends or 500kms in the middle of a large city where I feel uncomfortable at the best of times.
My husband told his mother about it yesterday and despite the fact that I don't want it to be taboo, at the same time I really am pissed off that he told her. I have barely got my (bright red) head around it myself and he has told his mum - who in turn will tell just about everyone in Geraldton as soon as she opens her mouth.
I haven't even told my mother yet. And I feel so ashamed.
I have looked into diets to help me lose those three kilos and hopefully keep them off for the next 19 weeks. But as much as I don't want to go to Perth I wonder whether it would be the best place for me and my baby to be. Given that it is likely the baby will be born above the 97% centile.
As I said in my last entry - I am really hoping to avoid complications like I had with Ella. I couldn't forgive myself if I hurt another baby.
Any attempt I make with my doctor to tell her about my fears seem somewhat "dismissed" and I am told that statistically, second babies are smaller than firsts. But the growth of this little one already is contradicting what she's said.
I guess only time will tell how this will all pan out. Patience is a virtue and one I seem not to have.
What started out as a TTC blog has now turned into a wonderful journey of motherhood. This is my story, a million times different to anyone elses but yet similar all the same.
3 comments:
When it comes to the health and safety of your unborn child, who can be patient? Patience is something that just doesn't come into the equation. You want answers, you want to be told that there's something you can do. You want it resolved now!
That kind of mind set is to be expected from us mums with high risk pregnancies, but doctors have a more practical approach to things. No pesky pregnancy hormones or personal investment in the child make it alot easier for them to be that way! Like you said to me earlier, if you're really worried just keep on pushing for answers.
Don't feel ashamed or embarrased that you may have to have your baby in Perth. You still have alot of time up your sleeve and you have something that is a real asset when it comes to losing weight - you've got determination and the drive to succeed.
You're not trying to lose weight to boost your self image or to look good for a certain someone, you're doing it so that your baby has the best possible start to life! That kind of mind set gives you alot of power and puts you firmly in control.
I know that you can do this, and I think that you and your baby are going to be just fine! You've just got to stay focused :)
I agree, the doctors and caregivers do not have the emotional involvement that us mothers do - which can make it very hard when it comes to intuition and the likes.
In the grand scheme of things, my 'problems' aren't all that great. I'm healthy, baby is healthy, it's just the matter in which we both get to the point of being two seperate people!
I know I shouldn't but I am ashamed of being too large to have my baby here. People just don't understand and realise that it's a reality here in country WA, our hospitals are just not equipped to handle 'high risk' pregnancies (as you know) but I feel like a fraud even saying that because there is no reason I am high risk apart from my weight!
I am determined. I am looking into options that I usually wouldn't and neither would most pregnant women. It just sucks that I can't just enjoy my pregnancy, not be worried about weight gain in both me and my baby and eat whatever the hell I like (ahh we're so alike!!).
In all respect but there is at least a cause for your diet change and it's nothing to do with your weight. At least if I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes people may not look down on me as much for being an overweight mother and having monsterous babies.
At least if I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes people may not look down on me as much for being an overweight mother and having monsterous babies.
Oh how I wish this was true. For people who don't understand GD, its my fault I got it because I was so fat when I fell pregnant. When it comes to a womans weight, there is no winning :(
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